Part 2: Words from the Wise - mothers share their stories on self-love
By Freya White
Last month our volunteer Freya shared Part 1 of her interview series "‘Words from the wise” She interviewed mums about periods, body imagine and the relationship to their teenage and 20-something daughters and self-love. Here finally comes Part 2.
Alongside periods, physical changes to the body are happening: breasts begin to grow, hips widen, and feminine curves emerge. Some women welcome these changes with open arms and others find them uncomfortable. I wanted to hear from these women about their experiences and thoughts on the subject of body image and self-love. Jo shared her struggle explaining how it took childbirth to really see the wonders of the female body:
“It took me a while to make peace with the changes I went through during puberty and I didn’t really make peace with my body until I became a mum and realised how amazing it is that we can grow life inside us”.
Louise also shared how she went through a metamorphosis during childbirth:
“I had the most amazing, empowering experience of childbirth - twice - so after that my body was my best friend, and nothing could faze me!”.
Jo further shared how she didn’t grow up being exposed to any sort of conversation related to the female body and its value. Considering the female body is a vessel of life, this was sad to hear.
However, when asked about the topic of body image and self-love in regard to their daughter/s, some of the women explained how they had decided to talk about such things with their children and still do as they grow older. A lovely memory shared by Louise was of her daughter’s experience with weight gain and stretch marks on her breasts at the start of her menstruation. Louise remembers her daughter taking it all in her stride with confidence and maturity. Helena told me how her daughters sailed through puberty, experiencing no issues with self-worth, giving her little to worry about in that domain.
Considering the ever-increasing threat of social media to women’s self-worth and body acceptance, I wanted to know when they believed it to be most valuable to talk about these topics of body image and self-love with their daughter/s. Their responses emphasised early modelling from the mother’s part; demonstrating self-love and personal success (through career aspirations and healthy relationships).
A wonderful quote from Jo illustrates the importance of self-love when becoming a mother:
“They need to see us embracing our wrinkles, not letting cellulite stop us from wearing a swimsuit with pride, not hiding our period products away in embarrassment, or covering up our physical ‘flaws’. When they see us loving ourselves unconditionally, they get to see love in action and that is the best way of teaching there is. It isn’t easy but it is worth it for them, and for us.”
So, alongside our monthly cycles, our relationship with our body begins to change as we move into new physical forms. Body acceptance and love is part of this journey. Whether you are at the beginning of this journey yourself or you are guiding a young girl, remember that everybody is different. Be kind and patient with your body.
A final note. I asked the women to give words which they felt encompassed the transition from girl to woman: “Threshold.” “Emergence.” “Flowering.” “Blossoming.” “Powerful.” “Strength.” “Connecting.” “Sisterhood.” “Feminine.”
And with these wise words, I leave my final message: periods come in all shapes and sizes, they can be physically demanding, emotionally challenging, uncomfortable, and defiant. But despite these things, periods are the threshold of becoming a strong and powerful woman. Periods are the emergence of your flower which blossoms and connects you to women all around you, creating an unbreakable sisterhood.
Freya White - Content Writing & Blog
Freya volunteers with Big Sis and hopes to be a small part of a big change. She wants to support and encourage women to love and accept who they are, and everything that comes with being a woman.