CYCLES & SELF LOVE – A WAY OF ACCEPTANCE
By Friedel Fink
Let me ask you something: Who wants to fight less? I surely do! Who wants to fight anyways? Isn‘ t harmony such a beautiful state to be in?! Of course, I don‘t mean to deny the value of friction & challenge life – often strong motors for powerful insights. BUT: Imagine how a world would look like where women* don‘ t worry all the time what they look like & fight who they truly are beyond societal pressure what one „has to be like“ or „to act like“, where they stop criticizing their „faults“ and their inconsistency all the time but instead live in harmony with their bodies, accepting their changing natures & listen to their bodies when they are asking for activity & rest equally; and through that make use of their full potentials without all the nonsense of exaggerated self – criticism?! Wouldn‘t that be just beautiful & make our relationships inside & outside flourish?!
These are some changes I would like to see in the world and I like to dream big & know through my own lived experience that such a change & transformation is possible & the ways are KNOWLEDGE, AWARENESS & ACTION. A few years ago I wouldn‘ t have believed that all these positive changes I just mentioned are possible through getting in touch with a simple given biological factor: my female cycle (th magic menstrual cycle). In fact I would have labeled that „f*** weird“.
Being Cyclic…that means embracing change. Cycles are present all around us and within: the seasons (winter changes to spring, etc.), the day cycle: day changes into night, the moon & sun cycle, life & death…cycles everywhere! So how is it possible that many many women are not connected to what is given to them as a treasure box full of wisdom to use?! Speaking from my own experience: probably no one told them about it!
We live in a male-dominated „Yang“ world that functions through the notion that we are always the same in our skills & abilities, have to „deliver“ all the time and everything deviating from that „normal“ state is little accepted. So we push through day after day, act against our bodies and intuition.
“What is expected in the working world, we take into our private lives which leads to unrealistic high expectations towards ourselves, stress, consumption of a million stimulants,etc.”
On top of that menstruation doesn‘t own the best reputation: in many cultures it is seen as something negative & dirty even in „enlightend“ western society. You see my point?! You are told that you have to be the same all the time – but surprise: you don‘ t have to play that game anymore for you are cyclic and therefore different throughout the month!
Like many women I used to hate my menstruation. Being finally more comfortable meant for me: changing my mindset completely; especially about bleeding! And that took a lot of work. Fighting against this aspect of my womanhood & suffering physically, mentally & emotionally only created more suffering I realized; PMS would kick in harder & I would suffer severe menstrual cramps. I felt much more flowing with life when I finally embraced what I could not change anyways & instead accepted the fact that I am a crucial part of nature and therefore CYCLIC. Little by little I picked up all these practices that taught me staying present to what my body showed me to be the reality of things: That the female cycle is a present given to us a as women every month to tune ourselves into changing sets of different heightened abilities & needs – a constant fluctuation that doesn‘ t stop when women move into menopause.
Of cause, sometimes that‘ s easier said than done, but cultivating awareness & listening to ones body is nothing but practice and learning to listen. It took me years to collect the tools to approach life & I‘ m still collecting & experimenting. I traveled & lived in many places of the world, learned different practices, talked to knowledgeable people, studied with teachers of all kinds, embraced inspiring books,participated in community activities and feminist festivals, listening to students & every-day experts. In my workshops & retreats I am sharing with you now what I discovered on my way to healthy self-love to help you reveal all the women that you are (or want to be).
“For the Daoist – a school of ancient chinese thought that I find very inspiring, health is established when the contrasting energies are in balance.”
I am looking forward to continuing to grow and expand with you dear people and always love to hear how you are doing on your path.